Thursday, January 9, 2014 Be Filled

"Make me broken so I can be healed
'Cause I'm so calloused and now I can't feel
I want to run to You with heart wide open
Make me broken.
Make me empty so I can be filled
'Cause I'm still holding onto my will
And I'm completed when You are with me
Make me empty.
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me."
Make me lonely so I can be Yours
'Til I want no one more than You, Lord
'Cause in the darkness I know You will hold me
Make me lonely.
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making
I know You'll keep making
Lord, please keep making me."
(Keep Making Me - words and music by Ben McDonald, David Frey and Sam Mizell)
(Sung by Sidewalk Prophets)

We don't usually request these things from God, do we? 
These three things are probably things that we avoid at all costs.

We don't want to be broken
We don't want to be empty
And we certainly don't want to be lonely.

But it's in these very things, that God meets us. 
It's when we are totally broken, that our hearts are open to God. 
It's when we are completely empty, that we consider maybe He has the answer.
And it's when we are utterly and devastatingly lonely that we invite Him, maybe even plead with Him, to comfort us.

As I was reflecting on these words this morning, I was thinking particularly of the verse that says, "Make me empty so I can be filled."
I was thinking of the so many things that we try to fill ourselves with - food, TV, video games, movies, drugs, alcohol, working, shopping, sex, reading, sports, fitness and exercise, ipods, iphones, ipads, all kinds of tecnological toys, relationships, a particular person, etc.  The list can go on and on. 
We desparately don't want to be empty, we don't want to be quiet,
so we do and we go
and we do and we go
and we do and we go some more
so we don't have to face the fact that we are empty and that we are lonely and that we really are broken, too and need fixing.
I remember a friend of mine writing a song many years ago; I've never forgotten it.  And although I may not remember the exact wording, it went something like this:
Lord, I'm looking for love, but if you don't give it, then I guess I will have to learn to live without it because I'm not going to look for it anywhere else!
Being willing to live in a state of brokenness, emptiness and loneliness and not reach out for the psuedo cure is getting real serious with God.  To forego temporary pleasure is not easy in this world that continually seeks instant gratification. 

You want that - go buy it. 
Oh, you don't have the money for it, well, go to this bank for a credit card.
We shouldn't have to go without for any length of time. 
We want what we want when we want it!! 
I think the Bible calls this......lust.
We lust for what we don't have, we lust for what we can't have!
Finding the cure for our brokenness, our emptiness and/or our loneliness from anywhere or anyone else rather than God is a false fix!

It won't last!

Once it grows old, we look for the next thing to do in our hearts what this last thing couldn't. 
Lust is never filled; it is constantly seeking the next new thrill!
Asking God to break us, empty us, and make us lonely so He can fix us, fill us and make us whole is an acknowledgement that we have seen the revelation that.....
only He can

fix us, fill us and whole us!

"Thou opens thine hand, and satisfies the desire of every living thing."
Psalm 145:16
My biggest lustful desire over the years has been food.  I have used food to self-medicate myself too many times to count.  It was my comfort, my fulfillment, my friend - or so I thought!  It was a long hard battle to overcome the ungodly lustful desire - the greed - of overeating.

It took me years to be willing to be empty so God could fill me.  I had always turned to the food to fill me because I couldn't bear to be empty. It wasn't until I was finally willing to be empty and stay empty until God chose to fill me, that I could actually live with the emptiness and refuse to turn to the food.

Refuse to turn to the food and instead turn to Jesus!
Turn to Him and ask, sometimes plead and beg for Him to fill me,
Turn to Him and ask Him to fill me and keep making me...
Turn to Him and ask Him to change my heart that I could and would
seek Him as my one desire, as my one true love..

Not the food!!

"I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it."
Psalm 81:10 (bold & underline mine)

Today, I am thankful for this "addiction" because it drove me to the One that has the power to heal and deliver, the Only One whose love satisfies like no other.  By allowing me to try to find comfort in other idols and then tasting the failure of each one, the Lord turned my heart to Him and found true satisfaction.

"I found the one my heart loves."
Song of Solomon 3:4


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