We want our homes to look "perfect", like something out of a magazine. We want to set the "perfect" table. We paint, clean, buy new furniture, new curtains, even remodel to ensure that we have the "perfect" setting for all the "magic" to happen during the Christmas season.
I must confess, I am a type 'A' personality and have spent a good deal of my past days seeking that perfection, too, but as I've grown older, I have been more and more delivered from this malady!! I find I no longer have the desire or the energy to seek "perfection" in those trappings that are only "perfect" temporarily, at best. I have become more and more "okay" with all of my own personal imperfections and with my own imperfect world. I find it easier and easier to let go of trying to create the "perfect" environment.
I don't like the looks of a perfect Christmas tree anymore. I don't like the looks of the manufactured decorations - the "perfect" garland, the "perfect" lighting - it all looks so "imperfect" to me. There seems to be something missing, something lacking. It leaves me longing.
The dictionary defines "perfect" this way - complete in all respects; without defect; flawless; in a condition of complete excellence; lacking nothing.
That's the problem with "perfection," I think - there's nothing lacking. When we lack nothing, it means we need nothing. And when we need nothing, then how "imperfect" we truly are.
Scripture tells us there is only One good, only One perfect. I long ago reconciled the fact that I will never be perfect here on earth. It's impossible - because I will always be lacking something - I'm only human, I am not God. I am infallible. That doesn't mean I don't reach for excellence, but there is a difference between excellence and perfection. My best attempt at excellence will always be flawed because it won't be perfect. I am not perfect and neither do I want to be. I always want to be needy - needy in the sense that I know I need the Lord. I need His hand and presence in my life every day. I need His grace always, to cover my mistakes, my flaws, my sins.
I don't strive for perfection anymore and I find such a freedom in that. Just the other day my twin granddaughters came up to help me decorate for Christmas. What joy I had in giving them free rein to put the decorations wherever they wanted. I did guide them in some things, but for the most part, I let them go. What fun they had and what fun to see their creativity shine through! My little house has never been decorated with so much love. When I see where some of the candles and ornaments ended up, it makes me smile! Ten years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do that! What freedom there is in letting go! What freedom there is in not seeking perfection!
It also makes me smile these days when I see an imperfect Christmas tree. I love the "Charlie Brown" tree.
And when I receive an "imperfect" homemade gift, it warms my heart. I love the "heart" that shines through the attempt. I love the personality that is expressed, the whimsy of another's character.
You see, I think the something that is missing from the "perfect" is "heart." I now so appreciate the heart at the attempt of the endeavor. It's the "heart" that is communicated from one to another that leaves the lasting impression, not whether the gift was "perfect," not whether the house was beautifully decorated or even super clean. And who even notices the new drapes when the fellowship is so sweet??
I love the perfectly imperfect.
All the preparations we make in the physical realm are actually the preparations we should be making spiritually - in our hearts - to receive the greatest gift - Jesus. Even in the spiritual preparation, God does not require our hearts to be perfect - indeed, that's the very reason He gave us Jesus - to forgive all that crowds Him out of our imperfect hearts. But when we sincerely offer Him our perfectly imperfect hearts, He receives them with the greatest love, recognizing our attempt to give Him our best.
When someone gives us a gift that we deem as not "perfect," we are not only rejecting the gift, we are rejecting the heart that was behind the offering, we are rejecting that person's best attempt to show us their love. Sad to say, I have been guilty of that and that now makes my heart sad. Sad that I would discount another's expression of love; sad that I would reject the gift they thoughtfully gave.
I embrace the "imperfect" now that I am older and a little wiser. And I am continually blessed at how God, too, embraces me in all my "imperfectness."
May we be blessed by the perfectly imperfect this Christmas season!
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