Surrender

"It's easy to be strong

I've done it for so long,

but this time, I have to remember.

This time to get what I need,

I have to surrender."

 

Surrender....to Him

Surrender.......to His will

Surrender...........to His plan!

 

Surrender.......give up; give over; cease and desist.

 

We live in such a performance-centered world. 

If you do this, you will get this. 

If you don't do this, you won't get that!

 

But, wait, you can't just expect to do and get, unless you do it.....perfectly and better than everyone else!

 

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!  Right??!!

 

BUT - God speaks upside down -

 

He says - cease from striving....

cease from constantly trying....

cease from all your dead works.....

 

and

 

trust Me!

 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

In all your ways, acknowledge Him

and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Proverbs 3:5-7

 

"Come to me all you labor and are heavy laden

and I will give you rest."
Matthew11:28

 

Are you weary of trying, are you weary of always falling short?

Are you just plain weary?


January 1st came and probably most of us made the famous New Year's Resolutions and vowed that we were going to do and be better in this coming year.  Today is January 8th and I bet a lot of those resolutions have already been broken!!  Are you weary from trying already???

 

When you've lived your whole life, "pulling yourself up by the bootstraps", you learn how to be strong.  You learn how to "put on a good face".  You learn to just keep going, even when you're falling apart on the inside.  So being strong has become easy and surrendering has become almost impossible!!

 

When what you really need can only be given to you by God, you  have to learn to

surrender!

 

Surrender your ways to His ways!

Surrender your plans to His plans!

Surrender your thoughts to His thoughts!

Surrender your desires to His desires!

Surrender your will to His will!

 

Surrender your strivings to obtain His peace!

 

There is nothing you can do to win His love and His favor!  God doesn't love you because of who you are.  He loves you because of who He is!

I remember a time in my life when I was trying so hard to do something better, to be something better and I was failing over and over again.  Finally, one day, in sheer desparation, I threw my hands up and hollered (yes, I did holler!) at the Lord - "I can't do this, Lord!"  And very softly and quietly, I heard (I truly did!) this voice say to me - "I never asked you to!"

What freedom came with that one statement from the Lord!  We can't accomplish in the flesh what only the Holy Spirit can do in the Spirit when we only surrender to the Lord.

Lord, I give up!  I trust you! 
Please change my heart...
Please change my "want tos".......
Change my heart's desires to become the desires of your heart!

God works quietly, gently in our hearts.
Daily, as we continue to surrender our flesh and all its desires to Him,
He changes us!

Until one day, we realize something has changed inside of us, but we don't know when and we don't know how; all we know is it has!! 

All praise be to God!

Surrender........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Humility

One day last week I went to visit my Dad at the nursing home.  A musician was coming in to entertain the residents with his guitar and singing, so I got my Dad up and took him to the Activity Room. 

Most of the residents that were in attendance that day are between the ages of 75-95, so the musician was playing music from their eras.  As he played, I watched the expressions on the faces of these men and women.  Smiles lit up their faces when a song was played that they remembered and some of them would start singing along. 

 

These who had lost so much through old age, could still remember most of the words to these songs!  And you could tell they were remembering - remembering back to a better time when they were young and still had a lifetime ahead of them.

My Dad is 88; will be 89 in April and doesn't get around very well anymore.  He's pretty much in a wheelchair when he isn't in bed.  He doesn't talk much anymore either, but you can still see him there when you look in his eyes.  He and my Mom were married for 56 years when my Mom died; she's been gone almost 12 yrs now and he still cries whenever he talks about her.

That day the musician played a couple of songs that were my Mom's favorites and as I saw my Dad's response, it brought tears to my eyes.  He closed his eyes and his lips were moving along to the words and I could almost feel what he was remembering. 

 

This man whose life has been reduced to the four walls of the nursing home, whose possessions fit into 2 dresser drawers and one narrow wardrobe.  The most prized possession he has are his memories.

Memories -

by the time we get to be my Dad's age, it's pretty much all we have left - memories. 

I saw it on the faces of the other residents, too. 
How the music transported them back to another time and place. 

The cycle of life is very evident to me whenever I visit the nursing home.  

We come into this world so helpless and dependent and then, if we live as long as some of these people have, most of us will leave this world the same way- helpless and dependent.

 

You know, I think we are always like that - helpless and dependent - not just as newborns or elderly people, but always.

   

Helpless -

"For in Him we live, and move, and have our being;"

Acts 17:28

 

Dependent -

Jesus said, "....for without me you can do nothing."

John 15:5

 

That is our state before God.

We just don't know it.

Or we refuse to see or acknowledge it.

 

We like to think we are strong and capable; independent and self-sufficient; self-sustaining and brave; intelligent and determined.
 

We often consider it a sign of weakness to admit we have need.

That's played out oftentimes through our inability to admit that we need help with something.  We struggle and struggle with something, because we are too proud to ask for help.

 

I spend endless frustrating moments with my computer, because I don't want to "bother someone to come over to help me," when it's really because I don't want to admit that I'm not smart enough to figure it out for myself!

I sit here today with a sore hip and shoulder because I didn't want to ask for help to shovel my walkway!  "I can do it myself!"  Sound familiar?

 

It's very humbling to admit we don't know something, to admit that we can't figure something out, or that we can't get by without help.  It's humbling to ask - because then we are admitting what we perceive to be weakness.  And when we ask, we are also risking - - taking the chance that we are not going to get what we need.  We put ourselves at the mercy of another and that can be a very uncomfortable place to be.  This forces us to admit we are not an island; we can't stand alone!

 

I see the faces of these residents and I see people who've been humbled by life.  They've lived long enough to come to the realization that they don't stand alone!

 

I love the residents I have met at the nursing home.  Many of them are still very strong in mind, but terribly weak in body. 

 

One lady, Delores, has a wonderful sense of humor and I am just delighted to chat with her.  She always brings a smile to my face.  She used to be a hairdresser and she never fails to comment on my hair.

Then there is Lena.  She used to be an acrobatic dancer at the Barre Opera House.  Lena is 95 and as sharp as a tack!  Unfortunately, she also swears like a trooper!  But underneath her gruff exterior is a woman who has known her share of grief.  Her only child - a daughter - died of breast cancer several years ago.

George - who I call Georgey Porgy - is also 95 and used to be a farmer.  He has a couple of stumps where fingers used to be - cut off by farm equipment.  George tells me stories of his farming days.  He was a very hard worker.  He, too, has a wonderful sense of humor and I just love talking to him.

Dorothy wins at Bingo all the time, is very impatient with others who don't play as well as she does and loves to read.  She also has terrible coughing spells that often leave her breathless.

Shirley is the mother of a woman I graduated from high school with.  She has a crush on my Dad and they are always winking at each other and blowing each other kisses across the table when they play Bingo!!  She is such a sweetheart and I love her!

I could go on, but you get the picture.  Precious people these are, who have been humbled by the toll life has taken on their bodies.

I love the humility I see on their faces. 
I love the cheerful coutenances even in the midst of all their ailments. 

I love the history I see on their faces.

 

 

Humility...a word I've been reflecting on a lot lately.

True humility is reflected in a grateful, appreciative heart.

A heart that knows it deserves nothing good.

A heart that knows all is grace!

Humility......help me, Lord!

 

Quieted By His Love

"The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

 

Quieted by His love....

His love quiets me - slays me - comforts me

Like a pin to a balloon, it releases all the striving, all the fight, all the hurry and scurry out of me!

 

 

A small baby cries, screams really, seemingly full of fret and worry.  Nothing seems to quiet him.  Arms and legs flailing everywhere, face going almost purple with the exertion required to put up such a fuss.

 

Suddenly the mother shows up, picks baby up and covers him with her arms.  Initially, he still puts up a fight, tears streaming down his cheeks; he will not be comforted.  Quietly and soothingly, she whispers and coos to him, "shhh, shhh."  Gently, she kisses his brow, strokes his head and begins to sing softly. 

 

Gradually, the baby begins to quiet.  Arms go still, legs stop thrashing, but whimpers can still be heard.  The mother continues to rock the baby and speak quietly to him.  Soon, the only sound he makes is an occasional sigh until finally he rests, comforted and quieted by his mother's love.

 

What a picture!  What a feeling!

 

Quiet.......seems to be the Word God is speaking to me.

 

"Be still, and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

 

Be still....cease from your strivings.....

Know.....Him.......

 

Spend "quiet moments to reflect upon the Savior."

 

"a quiet heart......

a little rest......

a lot of getting well........"

 

"He will quiet you with His love."

 

Silently, silently, quietly, quietly......

 

God has stilled and quieted my heart with His love...

 

The strivings have ceased....

The fight is over....

The hurry and scurry has been stilled......

 

Resting, resting, resting in His loving arms.

He speaks softly, gently, quietly to me.

His arms wrapped tight around me

He rejoices over me

His heart is always for me

He's not going anywhere..

He's not in any hurry....

 

I am not asked to perform or do anything for His comfort.

His thought is only of me at that moment...

 

Do you feel it?

Do you feel His love?

 

Can you feel His arms around you?

Can you feel all the frustration, all the striving, all the fight being released out of you and being absorbed by Him?

 

Quieted by His love....

His love holds no demands......

His love only seeks.....you!

 

His love envelops, surrounds, holds tight, rejoices over you, quiets you.....

 

 

"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us......."

I John 4:10

 

"We love him, because he first loved us."

I John 4:19

 

I don't need to be perfect, I don't need to get it right the first time, I don't need to do,

I don't need to.....

I don't need to...........

 

"Come to me,  all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

 

His love is enough!

His grace is enough!

His mercy is enough!

 

HE is enough!

 

Quieted by His love.........
 

 

 

"Firsts"

January 1, 2014

 

The first day of a new year!

 

Reminds me of another time of "firsts" in my life.

 

I had come to Maine, to the ocean, because I sensed I needed to.  I guess I felt that I needed to prove to myself that I could.  But deep down it really was because I felt God guiding me and leading me to come.  I wasn't sure why, but just knew I needed to do it.

It was the first time I had ever come alone. 

It was the first time I had even driven here by myself. 

It was the first time I'd ever stayed in a motel by myself and it also turned out to be the first time I ever pumped my own gas!! 

It would be a weekend of "firsts" for me.

October 2, 2004 was the beginning of those "firsts" in my life.

October 2, 2004 was the day, Phil, my husband of 33+ years, died.

 

Wells Beach, Maine was where we had vacationed for many years.  First, as a family with our two young daughters and then, as they grew and left home, we started marking our yearly treks just the two of us. Gradually our trips to Maine became a long weekend in May to celebrate our anniversary, and a long weekend in September for the annual Chili-Fest, and most years, we also managed to spend a whole week there sometime in between.  We loved our time there, loved the ocean, salt air, the lazy and relaxing days, our long walks on the beach and just being together.

But now, going all by myself, 10 months after losing my husband, I was apprehensive and wondered if I could handle it.  So many wonderful memories of happier times, family times, couple times.  But I was also feeling that I wanted to lose myself for the weekend in those memories, so I set out not knowing what awaited me.

The first day I was there, I drove to "our bench" and just sat and watched the waves crash on the shore and I remembered the many times we brought our lunch and sat on this bench together.  We would just sit, eat and enjoy the sun, the breeze, but mostly, we just enjoyed our time together.

In the years since the kids had been gone from home, we had grown closer as a couple and our love for one another had deepened.  We loved the time we were able to spend together and guarded it diligently.  The love we had found together so many years ago was renewed, refreshed and restored to us and we looked forward to growing old together.

But now, I needed to find "me" here without Phil to know that I would be okay.  His death was so unexpected and sudden and I was still living with a mind that could barely comprehend what had happened.  But for this one weekend, I was going to remember, grieve, remember and grieve some more. 

I went to all our favorite places; took the drives he always liked to take, went to the beaches that were our favorites and remembered. 

 

 

 

I walked the miles of sandy beaches and remembered. 

I remembered his child-like surprise whenever he found an ocean treasure. 

I remembered his gentle patience with me because I never wanted to leave the beach. 

I remembered our long walks on the beach; playing cribbage on the beach, desperately trying to hold on to the cards in the strong ocean breeze. 
 

I remembered, especially, our last trip to Maine.  He was not able to do all he once had done; he was held back by the feeding tube and IV pole, but he so wanted to make the trip for me - he wanted to give me this time because he knew how much I loved it.  He was able to go the Chili-Fest while I sat on the beach and when he returned that day, he brought with him a beautiful gold pin for me that he had found at a local craft fair.

As I walked the beach that last morning in Maine by myself, I stopped to sit and reflect on the last beach he had sat on with me.  A stone caught my eye and I decided to pick it up as a marker of this weekend of remembrance.  As I turned it over, I gasped!  The stone was shaped like a heart with a piece gone from the lower left hand side.  I felt God whisper soft and gentle to me -

"A piece of your heart is gone; died with your husband, but you will be okay!"

 

As I left Wells, Maine that day and started home, God began to show me the real purpose of my trip.  It was to say good-bye to my husband; something I had not had a chance to do before he died.  He died on an operating table surrounded by strangers and we had no warning that this surgery could or would take his life.  So God had brought me here, to a place we both loved so dearly, to say my good-bye - to take that first step into the unknown of my new life.  I was leaving behind my best friend, my lover, my husband and soul-mate, but God had assured me I would be okay.

As I continued to drive away, it was almost as if I heard Phil say to me - "We made so many wonderful memories together, Donna, but now it's time for you to make some new ones of your own."

On this first day of a new year, if you're starting some "firsts" of your own, be assured that God is right there with you, leading and guiding you. 

The year is new, with no mistakes yet, and it stretches out, like a road, before you. Who knows where it will take you? Only God!

What "firsts" will you experience this year?

 

Whatever they are, they will be laced with His grace!

His grace that is more than sufficient no matter the circumstance!

His grace will sustain you, grow you, surround you and envelop you!

 

His grace is always enough!

HE is always enough!

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, ......"
Philippians 3:13

 

Out With the Old...In With the New!

Well, here we are at the end of another year.

 

What kind of a year have you had?

Are you glad it's coming to an end?

 

What, of God, have you experienced this past year?

And what, of God, are you taking with you into the new year?

 

I usually try to take inventory at this time of the year; looking back and looking ahead.  God has done a great and lasting (I pray) work in my heart this past year and I suspect it will continue into the new year, because my heart is a "work in progress."

 

I am taking several Scriptures into the new year with me; Scriptures the Lord has put on my heart in the past few weeks:

 

"Thus says the Lord, The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool; where is the house that ye build unto me? and where is the place of my rest?  For all those things have my hand made, and all those things have been, says the Lord: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembles at my word."

Isaiah 66:1, 2

 

"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 3:3

 

"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?"

Jeremiah 32:27

 

Only God knows what He will do with these Scriptures in my heart and life and I wait with great anticipation to unfold that work.

 

The greatest truth I am taking with me from 2013 into 2014 is:

 

God is always good and I am always loved.

 

Those of you who are regular readers of my blog, I'm sure, are not surprised by this for you have read it many times here in the past few months.

 

It's a life-changing truth and one I remind myself of every day.

 

Faith, trust, mercy, grace, goodness, truth, love, joy, comfort, thanksgiving have been big words for me in 2013; foundational words to build a life on, one I've been building on for almost 40 years!  Or maybe I should say, God's been building on for almost 40 years!

 

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ."

Philippians 1:6

 

"Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24

 

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me: thy mercy, O Lord, endures forever: forsake not the works of thine own hands."

Psalm 138:8

 

Unfortunately, I'm also taking some "unfinished business" into the new year with me, too.  Are you? 

 

Our messes, our pains, our disappointments, our illnesses, our hurts and losses, all of our imperfections don't just disappear at the stroke of midnight; wish they somehow would!  But as we take those messes with us, we also take the Lord with us, too.  He is Lord of all that pertains to us and we can rest assured, He will be with us in and through it all.

 

I pray that God will grant you a blessed, healthy and happy new year.  I pray that He will grant your hearts' desires as they line up with His Word and will for your life.  May you see and experience His hand in performing that "good work" in your life, fully knowing and believing by faith that He is faithful and He will do it!  In all the circumstances of your life, good and not so good,

 

acknowledge Him,

trust Him,

believe in Him and His goodness,

seek Him,

love Him, and above all else,

thank Him!

 

In happy moments - praise God!

In difficult moments - seek God!

In quiet moments - worship God!

In painful moments - trust God!

In every moment - thank God!

 

 

 

 

What Do We Do With Jesus?

God. Is. With. Us.

 

Jesus, our Savior, God incarnate, came to us in the form of a baby - a helpless, naked baby - born in a manger - with only his parents and the animals as witness.  No fanfare, no headlines, no family waiting in the next room to congratulate the new parents.

 

"And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth."

John 1:14

 

Now that He is with us, what do we do with Him?

This quiet, unassuming baby

asking nothing more than His basic

needs be met?

 

This baby born in the wood of the manger who would grow

to die in the wood of the cross.

 

"For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

John 3:16

 

God gave His son, they called him Jesus. 

 

What do we do with Jesus?

 

This man who would grow to heal the sick, give sight to the blind, forgive sins and cast out demons.  Not only that, He made claim that He was the son of God.

 

What do we do with Jesus?

 

Someone once said, "Salvation is free, but it will cost you your life."

 

That's true.  Salvation is free.  The penalty for your sins was paid on the cross by this Jesus. 

But there is a cost.

 

This Jesus said,

 

"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but, whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it."

Luke 9:24

 

What do we do with Jesus?

 

This Jesus, who asks us to deny our own will to do His.

This Jesus, who asks us to seek first His kingdom.

This Jesus, who asks us to love our enemies and even pray for them.

This Jesus, who asks us to serve rather than lead.

This Jesus, who tells us to love one another as He has loved us.

This Jesus, who longs to give us the peace only He can give.

 

What do we do with Jesus?

 

This Jesus, who loves us with the most unselfish love.

This Jesus, who feels our pain, our hurts, our losses, with a heart full of compassion.

This Jesus, who promises us a peace that passes understanding.

This Jesus, who desires for our joy to be full.

This Jesus, who longs for relationship with us.

 

What do we do with Jesus?

 

Simply this -

 

Receive Him!  Invite Him in!

No matter the mess of our lives, He will gladly accept the invitation!

 

Immanuel - God. Is. With. Us.

 

 

 

 

Silently, How Silently.....

I sit here writing this post on Sunday morning, December 22.  Church has been cancelled and rain/sleet/freezing rain is falling outside my window.  The trees are covered with ice, the roads and walkways are crusted over, and there is very little traffic activity that I can see on Route 2A. 

The airport is closed.

Church Christmas Programs all over the area have been cancelled.

There is an Ice Storm Warning in effect until 7pm tonight and the radio and TV are advising that if you don't have to travel today, please stay home. 

Driving is treacherous. 

Over 16,000 people are without power.

There will be very little Christmas shopping done today.

 

In the midst of all this, I see this day as a gift. 

 

The gift of a whole day - stretched out before me - with no schedule to adhere to!

 

A gift from God that forces me to slow down when I am unable or unwilling to slow down by myself.

Selah - stop and consider this!

On a day like this -

 

I have to stop. 

I have to be still. 

All of my plans have been aborted.

In the midst of the Christmas rush and the fever to "get it all done", I have been forced to

 

step back,

take a deep breath, and

be still!

 

It's hard for us to sit still, to just be, instead of always doing.  We always have places to go, things to do, people to see.  We have twitter and tweet and Facebook and all other ways to be LinkedIn.  Social media consumes a lot of our waking day.  We rush here and we rush there, but never far from our phones or our ipods or ipads! 

We are rushing as if we can make 2 days out of 1, as if we can stretch our lives longer, make them mean something or at least feel as if we mean something, we fill every waking moment trying to convince ourselves that we matter.  Even today, in the midst of all the warnings, cancellations, etc., there are still people going about "business as usual" because they can't/won't even be forced to take "a day off."

But in all this rushing, what are we missing?

- the chance to be alone with our own thoughts; are we afraid of what we would hear? afraid we would be faced with unpleasant truths and realities we don't want to see?

- the opportunity to really see and hear others; do you look, really look into the eyes of the person on the other side of the counter serving you and say thank you or do you just mumble something and turn away, checking for your next new message?

- life and all its wonders, the beauty that surrounds us; it's a beautiful Winter Wonderland right outside the window; do you see that or do you just see cancelled plans and feel frustration?

I sit here at my desk in the quiet of the day.  I have even turned off my Christmas music for a time, just to enjoy the quiet and the stillness.  Outside my window, I see a squirrel feverishly trying to dig through the ice-covered snow to perhaps find a nut that he buried there this past fall.  Watching him, I think of two things -

1- we are like that this time of year, feverishly digging, digging to find the buried treasure of a perfect Christmas

2- I wish that I and others had that same perseverance when it came to digging for the hidden treasure found in the presence of the Lord, found in His Word.

All season long, I have heard these words from the Christmas Carol, O Little Town of Bethlehem, playing in my head.  Some mornings I even awaken to them.  Can't seem to stop the tune.

How silently, how silently,

The wondrous gift is given;

So God imparts to human hearts

the blessing of his heaven.

No ear may hear his coming,

but in this world of sin,

where meek souls will receive him still

the dear Christ enters in. 

 

These words still my heart every time I hear them. 

 

He came silently into the world, born in a manger.

 

What a contrast to this world where things are announced and proclaimed with great gusto, pomp and circumstance.  When someone is introduced, it's with loud music, a grand introduction of all accomplishments and then a "Heeere's Johnnnnnnny" type of hoopla.

 

He came silently into the world, born in a manger.  No-one but his parents and the animals shared in the moment.

So, too, He silently invades our hearts when they are open to Him.  And while there may be people around us, no one shares that particular moment in our heart except Him.

No ear will hear Him silently slip into that meek soul that will receive Him.

 

And where meek souls receive Him, because it does take a meek heart to be able to receive, still He enters in.  Still today, He comes silently to those who have ears to hear and meekness of heart to receive.  

 

"There is no need to produce or perform or perfect - simply become a place for God. That is all.  Christmas is conceived in your world when you simply receive it - however Christ and His will come to you.  Christmas can't be made.  .......it is a gift."

(The Greatest Gift, by Ann Voskamp)

 

That's what I think of when I sit here in the silence.

 

"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

 

Be still from all your doing, all your rushing, all your preparation
and just receive the gift.

 

Receive Him!